Mommy vs. the world

The other day I had an experience that has changed my thinking. In the morning I spoke with an old friend who told me she has made it to the finals of a national TV show. It was so fun to hear about her glamourous life and her many travels around the world. Later on that day I had a chat with someone else who has decided to go back to school to study nursing (my college major), which got me thinking about my exciting memories becoming a nurse and the difference I felt I was making at that time. And then I looked at myself. I hadn't gotten ready for the day (I won't say just how late it was, but it doesn't bode well for me), my house was such a mess, and there I was sitting on the floor holding a banana begging Brady to eat it and it hit me- is this really what has become of me? What am I doing on the floor in my p.j.'s holding this nasty banana? Am I really making a difference? Is this really what I worked so hard for?

These thoughts persisted for a while until I got the mail and received this month's Ensign. For some reason I thought I should thumb through it and wouldn't you know- there was a story about a mom who had the chance to go back to work and loved it, only to find that she began to resent her responsibilities at home. In the end, she recognized her attitude and took steps to find joy in motherhood again. Great story.

Would I really trade my life? Not in a million years. When I hear Jackson offer to be my helper because Daddy can't sit with us at church anymore, or when Brady does a little dance to make me giggle, I know I wouldn't change a thing. I fully recognize that my life is not for everyone. Some people don't get to stay home with their kids, some don't want to and that is totally fine because that is who they are. But for me- I realized this day that I truly do love it, even if I really suck at it sometimes!